Rob Chartrand (00:01.532)
Well, we are so excited to have here on Church in the North for our summer series, Roger Reed. He's a youth specialist at Hillside Church in Monkston, New Brunswick. And Roger, we're so glad that you're here for our Old Youth Guys summer series. So, hey, welcome to Church in the North.
Roger Reid (00:18.414)
Heheheheh
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. I really appreciate being here. I'm not sure if I like the part, the old guy part, but it is what it is. Yeah. Thanks.
Rob Chartrand (00:28.86)
Well, you look pretty young. You take good care of yourself. You're in pretty good shape. So you're not falling apart like some of the other guests like myself on the show. And you know, for our listeners, you might be familiar with Roger because he's been here on Church in the North before as a co -host. We pulled him in on a Wednesday morning in our pre -show. But we want to go back, Roger. We want to...
Roger Reid (00:34.958)
Thanks.
Roger Reid (00:38.862)
You
Roger Reid (00:46.158)
That's right.
Rob Chartrand (00:52.828)
Talk about your journey into ministry. Give us the backstory. How did it all begin? How'd you get into youth ministry?
Roger Reid (00:55.246)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (01:00.014)
Yeah, so Rob, it's been, this September coming, it will be 32 years in youth ministry. Okay, well starting that 32th year, and I think back and I go, wow, it's been quite a journey. And I still remember when I became a Christian at 17, and I was heading in one direction, and then my pastor came to me and said, hey, before you go in that direction, maybe you should consider going to Bible college for a year, just, you know, strengthen your faith and...
Rob Chartrand (01:07.502)
Wow, okay.
Roger Reid (01:28.782)
you know, before you go into that industry. And I'm like, I don't really know. I don't want to do that. And he goes, I think it'd be good for you. And I trust him. And I said, okay, fine. If I apply and if I get in, great. Never thought I could get in and got in. I said, okay, I'm man of my word. Let's go. And yeah. And was there for first year, did terrible. And then all of a sudden it's like, wait, I want to learn this more. Wait, I didn't know this. And it was like this awakening in me of a new level of.
Rob Chartrand (01:54.556)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (01:58.954)
understanding versus growing up in a very traditional church is like, you know, be good. That was the mantra, be good. And I'm like, but I'm not good, you know? And so I just always struggled with my faith. And then Bible college just kind of waken me and I'm like, why didn't I know this? Why didn't someone teach me my identity of Christ? I need to be teaching this. And next thing I knew, I was graduating with a degree in youth ministry and going to a church. That was it. There was...
Rob Chartrand (02:22.908)
Wow. Okay. So it just one, one year in the door and then you were boom on your way.
Roger Reid (02:29.102)
Yeah, yeah, right. And never look back. Just never look back.
Rob Chartrand (02:31.132)
Okay.
So what church should you step into back then?
Roger Reid (02:38.958)
Yeah, so it was 1995, 94, 94. And just finished up Bible college and the small town Brighton, Ontario. I walked in the room, there was four kids and my perspective was, okay, great, Jesus had 12, I get four. That sounds fair. You know, he's Jesus, I'm just Roger. And small country church, a lot of legalism. I learned quite a few things there. First thing I learned, wow,
Rob Chartrand (02:45.436)
Okay.
Rob Chartrand (03:03.388)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (03:08.622)
Youth guys don't get paid much, right? So my first paycheck, yeah, no, my first paycheck was $72 a week. Okay, yeah. And then there was taxes taken off of that, you know? And my wife and I, we struggled in those first couple of years, but God was so faithful. And the youth ministry...
Rob Chartrand (03:12.38)
Quiet.
Rob Chartrand (03:17.98)
wow, okay, yeah.
Ha!
Rob Chartrand (03:30.716)
So were you convocational? Did you have to have another job? Like that's not enough to live off of. That's 280 bucks a month.
Roger Reid (03:35.534)
Yeah, right. And I picked up odd jobs, you know, I was all in, you know, at first, you know, I was I was working in the Oshawa Center and commuting back and forth. And I'm like, no, no, no, these kids need me. I got to be there more often. So Sharon quit her job. I quit the other job. We moved to Brighton for seventy two dollars a week and just trusted God. And I would get up in the morning. I go to local farms. I would pick chickens.
Rob Chartrand (03:53.892)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (04:04.174)
you know, three, four o 'clock in the morning. You know what that's like out in the prairies. And that's right. Yes. And I've been out there picking chickens. Yeah. Yeah. So we picked them into farms and then I go to the hatcheries and I would sex these chickens for a couple hundred bucks and like, yes, we can make rent this month. Not sure about the car payment, but we got rent and food, right? And I remember those days that Sharon would come home from the grocery store and she would be crying, tears coming down her face. And she goes,
Rob Chartrand (04:06.012)
Nice, you're Napoleon Dynamite. The Sucans have large bellies.
Rob Chartrand (04:20.86)
Wow.
Roger Reid (04:32.846)
And I'm like, are you okay? And she goes, I walked out with 50 cents. She goes, God is so good. You know, like she had like this $26 budget for food. And the fact that she walked out with 50 cents would break her, right? Yeah, yeah, so.
Rob Chartrand (04:39.1)
Huh. Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (04:46.62)
Wow. I mean, it's amazing like back then how few youth workers were full time or could get full time gigs. Like we started part time. I was making 500 a month in 1992. So I was doubling your salary, man. But I was in the big city of Moose Jaw. And then I had to pick up odd jobs here and there. But I will say the church did, like I was still finishing up my bachelor's degree. So the church did pay for my tuition, which was.
Roger Reid (04:53.646)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, right there. Yes!
Roger Reid (05:08.014)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (05:11.606)
Mm -hmm.
Nice.
Rob Chartrand (05:14.204)
probably about 1100 bucks a semester. So that was about 200 bucks more a month. So I was maybe making seven, but they really wanted to incentivize me finishing school like that, which was good on them, right? They wanted to make sure that I did that. But yeah, same thing, like not a lot of money. We just wanna, we just making rent and hopefully putting gas in the car and food on the table and that's it.
Roger Reid (05:17.262)
Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Right. Yes. Yeah.
Roger Reid (05:30.606)
No.
Yeah.
Roger Reid (05:37.582)
What? There was gas? I just walked everywhere. Yeah. I would say to the students, because some of the students had vehicles, I'm like, hey, pick me up for youth. Right. And they're like, yeah, that'd be great. They had no idea. My car was empty, I guess. And I'm like, I can't use this. OK, because I need to get to church on Sunday. man. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (05:39.004)
you what? I had to get across the city. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (05:49.436)
Right.
Rob Chartrand (05:56.604)
That's funny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And Plan to Protect would not have allowed any of that.
Roger Reid (06:03.614)
no, plan to what? Yeah, that didn't even exist when we started, right? I say that permission forms are officially a thing because the things that we try to get away with early in youth ministry. That's why we have permission forms today, right? Yeah. Yes, right.
Rob Chartrand (06:07.196)
Yeah. So, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (06:15.864)
Yeah, exactly right. And, and incident report forms as well. When somebody bangs their head or whatever. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, you're, you're obviously not still at that church. You're at a different church, Hillside church in Moncton. So where, what are all the different places where you served?
Roger Reid (06:25.998)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (06:29.71)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (06:34.574)
Yeah, like those early years, there was a little bit of bouncing around, mainly trying to find your niche in youth ministry. You had the title, but you really weren't quite sure what you're doing. In that first church, I just realized there was kids in the neighborhood that wanted to play basketball and there was no basketball hoop. So we put one up in the church parking lot and grew to youth ministry. Basketball hoop and bottles of water. And we saw kids come to Jesus.
Rob Chartrand (06:55.676)
Hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (07:01.07)
And then all of a sudden, Sharon gets pregnant and I'm like, wow, we can't have a child here. We can barely take care of ourself. I don't need to pray about this. This is just common sense. And so we resigned and we're leaving this town. I'm broken. I don't want to leave because my first youth group got a great connection with these kids. And on a side note, some of those students are still our friends today. It's so good. And...
Rob Chartrand (07:06.62)
Exactly. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (07:25.34)
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (07:28.782)
And then on the way out, Sharon's like, I'm so glad we left there and we're just this whole moment in our marriage. It was great. And then we actually, I don't share this one very often, we actually end up going to Newfoundland. And I don't even put that one on my resume because I was there for a few months and I'm looking around the board table. I'm like, this is a shipwreck waiting to happen. I'm not going down with this one. I'm young in my career. And I wrote down, no word of a lie, right in the middle of the board meeting, I wrote down,
Rob Chartrand (07:41.244)
All right.
Mm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (07:57.774)
I quit, slid it down to the chairman of the board and walked out. And I'm like, I'm going back to Ontario. This is all crazy. And I'm from Newfoundland. So it was a thing. And so, yeah, so went back to Ontario and then went into another church north of Barrie. Got fired. That was fun. And, you know, not because I did anything wrong. I believe I was doing everything right. There was some insecurity, but that happens. And then I went to London.
Rob Chartrand (08:00.828)
Wow.
Wow.
Roger Reid (08:27.662)
Ontario, right? And so in London, it was having a great time. But it heads with the senior pastor a little bit and he fired me. And so it's two for two, right? And self -esteem was way up there, I'm telling you. But I was like, no way. Like, I'm, no, I have a colleague. I know what God's called me to do. And if these guys can't see it, maybe the next guy will. And so then I part in this guy named Brian Dunlop. I can say his name because I love that guy and we're still good friends today.
Rob Chartrand (08:28.668)
Mm.
Rob Chartrand (08:37.82)
man.
Roger Reid (08:57.358)
He goes, you can come work with me. And went to Ancaster, they're by Hamilton, spent some like six, seven years with him. And it was such a great place just to be renewed. It was still tough ministry. So I spent 13 years in the Pentecostal assemblies of Canada. And then I came to a land in Canada.
Rob Chartrand (09:02.52)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (09:21.87)
where I was invited down to speak at a youth conference. And while I was there, the senior pastor was like, hey, I'd like for you to come. And I'm like, fine, I'll come down. I'll give you two years. And that was 2007. I'm still here in New Brunswick. But I spent, yeah, seven years there in St. John. And now I've been here in my current location here at Full Gosp, at the hillside, starting my 11th year now in August.
Rob Chartrand (09:33.404)
Okay, wow.
Rob Chartrand (09:50.844)
Right. And Hillside is on Pentecostal, but it's Westling or Methodist? is it about this? Okay, okay, okay, yeah.
Roger Reid (09:54.382)
No, it's Baptist, right? It's a Baptist. I mean, I'm this Pentecostal guy. Even when they came and interviewed me back in 2014, I'm looking at these guys like, do you know you're fishing in the wrong pond, right? And they're like, no, we need someone who's got some... They just get youth ministry, that you can come in.
Rob Chartrand (10:08.572)
Right.
Roger Reid (10:19.502)
And I remember coming here in Hillside, sitting in that little small office I had at the beginning, and I took my computer, I downloaded everything off it onto a hard drive, which is still over in the drawer, and I dumped everything I knew about youth ministry, put it on the shelf, and I asked myself this question, if I never did youth ministry before, how would I do it? And I re -envisioned myself as a youth pastor at 42 years of age. And it was beautiful. Yeah, right? Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (10:38.3)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (10:43.356)
Hmm. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So I want to do a bit of a sidebar. I want to go back because you had to your ministry careers a little bit unique as you were let go twice. Right. And as you know, in any relationship, there's a dance and there's two dance partners. Right. What did you learn about yourself from those two firings? I mean, in other words, you know, course correction, but also maybe how you handle adversity.
Roger Reid (10:57.454)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (11:03.374)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (11:11.47)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, one thing I learned about myself is I need to get better at asking interview questions. In both of these churches, I was a few months in and I went, I don't, I wish I would have known this before. And so I'm like, okay, I need to ask better questions before I sign a contract. Number two, as a strong leader, I shouldn't be...
Rob Chartrand (11:21.533)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (11:30.908)
Yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (11:36.732)
Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (11:42.83)
partnering with a weak leader, you know, right? Like I'm a go -getter, I'm a risk taker. I'm like, and then I found myself in a situation with two leaders, one who was on his way out and the other one who was just playing it safe. And we just did this, you know, and it just wasn't healthy. And I also learned that once I see, once I get that, I should just leave, like I held on for the sake that things could change. And so,
Rob Chartrand (11:45.116)
an ordinance if you're a leader. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (11:55.996)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (11:59.516)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (12:10.254)
once the Holy Spirit starts, and you know, sometimes I don't want to get super spiritual because sometimes we just know when the relationship is just not working. And the worst thing we can do, we tell students this all the time, hey, relationship's not working. Why are you trying to beat it to work? Right? Let's go. Just end it and deal with the emotions. Right? And yeah. And one of the pastors, I just dared him. I said, listen, if you want to get rid of me, you got to fire me. And he did. Right? So I learned to keep my mouth shut too. Yeah. And then,
Rob Chartrand (12:17.596)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (12:27.836)
Yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (12:34.604)
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's certainly go ahead. And then also.
Roger Reid (12:39.854)
And then also, I also learned that I'm really stubborn in those younger years. And sometimes I just need to be quiet and not take everything so personally and be defensive. Like every time there was coaching, I got defensive. you just don't understand me. And so I had to learn how to not be that guy.
Rob Chartrand (12:52.412)
Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (12:59.1)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (13:04.316)
Right. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (13:09.116)
Yeah, yeah. Well, so I mean, I pulled a couple of things out of that. I mean, think I think of our young youth pastor listeners, I think the first thing they need to see is like, if you're in a church and it's hard, and it's not good, and you need to get out, that doesn't mean you have to get out of ministry. Because not every church is like that, like you're going to find some churches that you can serve in in a healthy way, and it's going to be a good place. So instead of just opting, I'm never going to be in ministry again, look around at other opportunities.
Roger Reid (13:10.094)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (13:25.454)
True, yeah. Right. Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (13:37.148)
right? Because there are places where it might be a better fit alignment with vision or mission or alignment with your giftedness or even chemistry with the leader that you're serving under, right? So.
Roger Reid (13:42.542)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (13:46.862)
And your calling that God's placed on your life is not the church didn't call you, the church didn't put that calling on you, right? God's placed that calling on you. And if that church doesn't work out for whatever reason, doesn't mean your calling is done. It just means, hey, I had a bad experience. Hey, that didn't work out. I learned a few things. Okay, I need to ask better questions. Okay, I need to work on this part of my life, you know? But you still have to anchor yourself in the calling that God has placed on you.
And I find that so many people, when they have a bad experience, they're like, I'm just done. But wait, wait, wait a second. We've lost so many great youth leaders over the years because of a bad leader, because of a bad experience, because of a mistake that they could have been coached through, redeemed through, or just worked through. But instead, they just allowed this head talk to convince them, this is not what I want to do. And...
Rob Chartrand (14:41.532)
Right, yeah, and I mean, and I appreciate what your process was. I mean, you also have to be self -reflective, like, because in any situation, you still have some responsibility, you have agency, there's things that you could do differently, right? And so it's always good in any situation to reflect what could I have done better in that situation? I mean, if you look at my resume, Roger, I've got like three churches in a row where I was there less than two years.
Roger Reid (14:48.206)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (14:53.71)
100%. Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (15:02.67)
Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (15:06.844)
for the same reason as you. But I didn't get fired, I just quit quicker, that's all. But it was the same thing. For me, it was like, well, one of them, it was probably close and I saw the writing on the wall, but they were insecure leaders. I'm a strong leader. A lot of their staff were quitting when I quit. So it wasn't like it was just me and the leader. But I still, I look back with some regrets and there's things like, yeah, I would have done that.
Roger Reid (15:07.53)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (15:11.594)
Yeah, I'm just too stubborn. Yeah.
Roger Reid (15:24.11)
Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (15:34.62)
differently. But in many ways, I'm like, Yeah, I made the right decision. I really did make the right decision. But I'll tell you what emerged from that. Like you, I have this document that I've created. And it's a list of about 100 questions to take with you into the interview process. And so now all of the young leaders who are graduating from Briar Crest, and they're looking for jobs, and I'm not the I'm not the genesis of this, this list. I actually found one online back in the 90s.
Roger Reid (15:36.014)
Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (15:48.59)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (15:54.51)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (16:03.1)
back when the internet was just cobwebs, right? So it's just back in the old days. Just, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. But then I've since modified it over the years. But I give it to young graduates who are interviewing for churches and I'm saying, listen, you're not gonna ask all these questions in the first interview. Here's the ones you might wanna focus on, but you need to know all these questions before you dive in, right? Get all the info. And the thing is, like, good leaders, strong leaders, value other leaders who ask good questions.
Roger Reid (16:05.742)
Yeah, just dial up.
Roger Reid (16:14.19)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (16:20.686)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (16:30.78)
Like it's not a bad thing to ask questions. Like it's like, you're a smart leader. That was a good question. I hadn't even thought about that, right? So yeah, I mean, people gotta.
Roger Reid (16:31.182)
Mm -hmm. No.
Roger Reid (16:37.294)
Right. Yeah. Yeah. But so many times we're not asked those questions because in our youth, right, we're just excited that someone's interested in us and give us a job, you know? And so we're like, wow, I got the job, but it wasn't the right job, you know, because you didn't ask the right questions. And now you realize you're being asked to do things that are outside of your strengths, right? You know, or, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (16:50.78)
That's right. That's right. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (16:56.252)
That's right.
Rob Chartrand (17:03.26)
Yeah. Yeah. And I was in enough failed situations like you where I'm like, yeah, I've learned those questions matter. Yeah.
Roger Reid (17:06.958)
Yeah. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Right. It's like, it's true. Like the older we get, the more we know we don't know. Right. You know? And so it's, it's really good. Right.
Rob Chartrand (17:16.188)
Yeah, totally.
Yeah. So your daughter, Kara, she's awesome. She is our youth pastor at our church in Musjah, Musjah Alliance Church. And so my next question was, do you have family? I know you do, but I think the bigger question is, how has your family been involved in the youth ministry over the years? And then how did you navigate family and youth ministry? Because, you know, there's a lot of evenings, et cetera.
Roger Reid (17:23.342)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (17:26.894)
That's right.
Roger Reid (17:32.59)
We ain't.
Roger Reid (17:39.182)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (17:44.222)
yeah, that's a great question. I like this one because I was all three of my kids youth pastor from the time they started to time they finished. I was their youth pastor. And every now and then I would do some fun things like, hey, I need you to talk. I'm not dad, I'm your youth pastor. I noticed this thing. And so we would just own it. A couple of things that I was really, really keen on in the beginning because...
Rob Chartrand (17:53.052)
Wow. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (18:04.54)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (18:09.358)
You know, like you, you've heard the stories where families always took the back seat to the ministry. And I'm like, I'm not like, no, my family's gonna be in the front seat right with me. Like, here we go. And I even gave my oldest daughter an opportunity, like, hey, if you don't want to be at this youth group, I'll find you another youth group. Like, hey, that's okay. But one of the things I would never say is like, hey, I'm going to church. It was like, I'm going to work. You know, I'm going to my office, you know.
Rob Chartrand (18:19.324)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (18:35.612)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (18:36.558)
I would say to them when we walk into a youth group, when they were first new coming into the youth ministry, remember, this is dad's job. This is what I do. This is how I pay the bills. And when I walk in there tonight, all these other students, they are my customers. And I need to serve them. But remember, at the end of the night, I go home with you. At the end of the night, we go home. And then we're going to get ice cream, or we're going to hang out, we're going to watch TV, or we're going to play a game.
but right now this is my job and you get to be a part of it. And that was just the kind of language he used. So I never wanted him to say, dad's at church again. church is always taking dad's evenings. Dad doesn't have time for me because he's at church. And so I instilled when they were very young, this is my job. You have those things in your room because of this job. You are blessed because of this job. And so it was always that.
Rob Chartrand (19:09.66)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (19:18.044)
Right, yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (19:28.796)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (19:33.55)
And then as they got older, I invited them in to be a part of that, like, especially Kiara. Kiara has been so instrumental in this location. When we came here, our oldest daughter, she was graduating high school. And, you know, so she was done. So my oldest is, I have a 27 year old daughter who's married and Kiara, who you know, she's 25. And then I have a 23 year old son who's getting ready now next week to go back to Camp Quannos for the summer, you know? And yeah, so.
Rob Chartrand (19:48.956)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (20:00.924)
Nice.
Roger Reid (20:03.342)
So they're all in that state. So I'm in that stage of parenting now, which is great. Those friendship years, it's been so good. But getting there was a journey and I prioritized, this is my job, this is my family. And that was the lens, I had to. And when someone tried to come in, and I schedule it, I scheduled my family into my calendar. So when someone said, hey, I need to meet with you, I'm sorry, I have an appointment already.
Rob Chartrand (20:26.524)
Yep. Yep.
Rob Chartrand (20:32.572)
Family first.
Roger Reid (20:32.622)
They didn't need to know it was, yeah, they didn't know it was just hanging out at the beach with my family. It was an appointment, right? And some leaders that I worked with were respectful of that. And some of them were like, well, we need you. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm going to be with them forever. Right? So it was good. Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
Rob Chartrand (20:37.82)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (20:51.388)
Yeah, yeah, they're your first ministry above all for sure. Was your spouse involved? Or how was she involved? Did she have a career outside of the home?
Roger Reid (20:58.414)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, we made a decision when our kids were—we would raise our kids, right? So Sharon was a stay -at -home mom until Nathan went to school, right? And then when Nathan went to school, Sharon went to work. And she was a Starbucks manager for eight years. To me, that was the best career she ever had because I got some perks. That's right. But now she works. She works in insurance.
Rob Chartrand (21:12.732)
Yeah, we are the same.
Rob Chartrand (21:18.748)
Hmm. That's awesome. How do we? Yeah.
Roger Reid (21:27.406)
She's also a small group leader for grade seven girls every Sunday night and it's a highlight of her week. They come over to the house, I disappear, right? And her and her co -leader, they just mentor these young girls, right? And then, but that's what she does, but she hosts a lot. She does like most of my meetings are all at my place, right? Because she, because it helps her to be involved and she just loves to host. That's her.
one of our spiritual gifts, right? Yeah, right? And, mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (21:59.42)
Hospitality. Yeah, so good. So let's talk about your current gig real quick. How would you describe the way your ministry is set up and how does that reflect say the context of the region of the city or the people that you're trying to reach?
Roger Reid (22:16.622)
Yeah, so Rob, right now I really believe that I'm in my sweet spot. So like I said, I'm moving into my 11th year here. And I feel even though I've been in youth ministry over 30 years, I'm right now, I'm only 11 year youth pastor, right? Like this is my longest gig. Even though I got all this experience, I'm only 11 year youth pastor. Like I just got this lens like, hey, this is 11th year that I'm moving into. And so, and for...
Rob Chartrand (22:33.372)
Okay. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (22:40.348)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (22:46.222)
For more context, I am more passionate about youth ministry today than I've ever been. You know, like I'm not looking for the off -ramp. Okay, at 52, I'm not looking for the off -ramp. I'm looking for, okay, is there another lane that I can get into and pick up the speed? All right, I got a great vision. We wanna see a youth ministry of 500 here. We're well on our way. I wanna reach kids for the gospel. So I would say in context, right now we're doing...
very healthy youth ministry here. There's still things that we need to figure out, but that's the exciting part. You get to figure these things out, you know, and how to do things better. You know, I've developed strong teams around me. Something I've learned over the last, you know, 15 years, you can't do youth ministry alone. You just don't, you don't need just volunteers. Volunteers are great, but you need teams. You got to build leaders around you. And that leader could be a grade eight kid.
Rob Chartrand (23:16.988)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (23:41.308)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (23:43.214)
or could be a 36 year old mother of seven, you know, right? And, you know, so here, and I'm surrounded by great leaders that always push us to be great leaders, you know, and invest in us to be leaders, right? Like I just finished up my masters and the church was full on board. They're like, we'll pay for it. If you're going to commit to it and still hang in here with us, we will hang in there with you. And they paid my entire masters.
Rob Chartrand (24:10.812)
great.
Roger Reid (24:12.622)
I wish they would have done some of the work. I'm done. I'm done. I was done just before Christmas. And yeah, and I actually did pretty good before a guy has been at school so long. And so I'm really, really happy with that, to have that check mark. It feels like just another step. Now, am I gonna go any farther with it? No, I'm good. I think I'll just keep reading books. I'm good now. I wanna read a book because I wanna read a book. And yeah, so.
Rob Chartrand (24:13.308)
So are you done? Nice.
Awesome.
Rob Chartrand (24:21.628)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (24:34.78)
Ha ha.
Roger Reid (24:40.43)
Our youth ministry context here is Sunday. We are a game day, Sunday youth ministry. We have our own youth church here on Sunday mornings. We'll see up close to almost 200 students in our youth church, our small groups. I mean, Sunday is the day where everything happens. So there's no midweek, there's no Friday night, there's no hour and a half of games and goofiness. It's like, let's go. Right?
Rob Chartrand (25:05.82)
Yeah. So is Hillside Church, like is it like in the suburbs say, and it's like much more of a commuter church. So you have a lot of people coming from far distances to get there.
Roger Reid (25:17.326)
Well, there are some people that travel, but Hillside right now is in the northwest part of Moncton, which is one of the fastest growing communities in Canada. That's what we're told. OK, I just heard this. But we see it. We see a lot of new people. Every Sunday, there are new people in the building. There's more buildings going up than, yeah, and are constantly being full. So.
Rob Chartrand (25:28.572)
Hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (25:44.878)
Some people can just walk across the street right into the church, you know, and so because Moncton is just growing around us, right? Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (25:51.164)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I have a question for you then with that model. What do you do at the back end? So when students graduate out, what are you guys doing to integrate them into adult community? Or maybe there's an intermediary stage of young adult community then into adult, you know, in terms of worship gatherings and worship experiences.
Roger Reid (26:00.91)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (26:05.294)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (26:08.822)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (26:12.366)
Yeah, absolutely. That's good. And I get that question a lot when people come in and they go, wow, you do a full youth church within, like you've got a church within the church, you know? And our youth church is larger than some of the other churches in New Brunswick, you know? All right. I mean, and people come in and go, what? Like, what is this? And then they always ask, well, are we not just segregating our students? And that's a good question. And in some ways, yes, I would agree with you. But you can't downplay...
Rob Chartrand (26:20.252)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (26:26.268)
Right.
Rob Chartrand (26:34.204)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (26:42.03)
you know, close to 200 students coming to church on Sunday morning, engaging in the service, engaging in worship, engaging in something that's tailored 100 % to meet the needs of a teenager, you know? And we're seeing spiritual growth. I mean, over the last two baptisms we had here at the church, it's all students. Our last baptism, we did 18 students. This weekend, we're baptizing eight students, one adult, you know? So...
Rob Chartrand (26:56.7)
Hmm.
Roger Reid (27:08.398)
I think they're just doing baptisms for us, right? And so we're seeing all these great things. And we're also very, very intentional in telling the students, we are a part of Hillside. We're not a silo. We have a church around us. So with our students, when they graduate, we do what's called adopt a grad. And so a church family gets to adopt them for a full year and journey with them their first year at a high school with cards and gifts and encouragement and emails.
Rob Chartrand (27:28.476)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (27:36.764)
Hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (27:37.486)
That's been a huge success. And then also, so many times a year, we'll shut down our youth service and we will take over the adult service at a high level and just cheer on our student ministers and remind our students constantly, there's a bigger community here, right? And we need you to be involved. So we'll raise students how to use tech, how to be involved in the children's ministry, you know, how to step outside of their space and be involved in other spaces, right? Because Hillside right now,
Rob Chartrand (27:46.332)
Okay. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (28:05.404)
Yeah, yeah.
Roger Reid (28:06.99)
is a church of about, I would say, 1 ,200 people. And I'm just guessing it could be more. I think I'm playing it safe, right? So we're constantly saying to students, hey, we want you to celebrate. We do two youth services a morning. So you can come to a youth service, but we also want you to serve, like we want to celebrate. We also want you to serve. You understand that culture, right? And so we're very intentional of helping kids to find their space. And then once they graduate, we do have a young adult ministry.
Rob Chartrand (28:27.484)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (28:36.078)
that's slowly up and running. It's one of our weak points, yes, but it's getting there. We're resourcing it, we're figuring it out, and yeah.
Rob Chartrand (28:47.42)
So do a lot of students when they graduate, do they stay in Moncton or they end up going somewhere else to college or university?
Roger Reid (28:55.598)
Yeah, I would say 90 % will like from our context of in our faith community, looking at the ones that just graduated, a lot of them will go to Fredericton or Halifax. They'll stay in the region. They don't want to go too far from home. They want to come home on the weekends, right? But for the most part, and then University of Toronto is really big. And I'm constantly encouraging kids to do that, do the gap year, Kaleo, like, you know, like, hey, if you don't have a plan, I can give you a plan. Like,
Rob Chartrand (29:00.38)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (29:09.82)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (29:21.66)
Right. Absolutely. Kaleo is the bomb, man. Get him out the Kaleo. Yeah.
Roger Reid (29:24.59)
That's what you gotta do. That's right. And so, and there's a couple. I'm just like, don't take a year off and just sit around. Great, you wanna work, but invest in your next step. But sometimes it's really hard to sell the parents on this gap year idea that is so good for them, for their faith development. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (29:37.66)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (29:44.86)
Yeah. Yeah. There's such an emphasis on building that secure nest egg at the age of 18 rather than, yeah, exploring or developing their faith for sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (29:51.214)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (29:57.166)
Yeah, right. I wish I would have had the option when I graduated high school. But then again, maybe I would have just done the gap year and moved into theater. But I'm glad I took my route. Right? Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (30:06.364)
Yeah, yeah. So how do you let's let's let's let's look at your longevity here. How have you seen youth ministry changing over the years? I mean, what is what is new and what kind of remains the same?
Roger Reid (30:12.43)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (30:19.726)
Wow. I don't miss clip art. That's for sure. Okay. Right. my gosh. The projectors. I mean, technology. Yes. Let's go. Okay. Like I can, I could get six kids into a group chat and plan, plan something, you know, like, like I had my grade seven boys, small group. So in the morning I text all these parents and go, Hey, don't forget it's tonight. And it was done in seconds. Right. And ding, ding, ding, ding. Right. So good. Okay.
Rob Chartrand (30:23.548)
The overhead projector.
Roger Reid (30:49.55)
As much as we have to teach safety and technology, I love it. Okay. It's so good. And this, like we get to chat.
Rob Chartrand (30:54.396)
Do you remember clip art where you had to use the transparent tape and you had to work so hard to make sure there were no seams or bumps so when you photocopied it looked like it was, yeah.
Roger Reid (31:01.966)
Yes. Yes. How much paper did we waste? Right? Like Canva. Thank you, Jesus, for Canva. Okay. Right? Yes. I remember putting together those beautiful youth calendars for your youth bulletin board. I don't miss bulletin boards. Bulletin boards are gone. Thank you, Jesus. Okay. And you put them up there. Yes. Right? But you get this, you spend hours getting that...
Rob Chartrand (31:07.932)
man, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's and I think it's quicker. Like I think it's quicker than click. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (31:21.82)
No, yeah. Or mailboxes, church mailboxes.
Roger Reid (31:30.51)
perfect clip bar and all your fonts all laid out and you put up on a board and someone goes, there's a spelling mistake. You're like, you know what? I don't care. Right. But yes. Yeah, that's it. That's all you do. Or someone else does it for you. OK. You know, and yeah. So so, yeah, so things definitely have changed. I remember when I first started youth ministry, parents weren't involved. OK.
Rob Chartrand (31:37.404)
Right.
Rob Chartrand (31:41.916)
Liquid paper and a black pen.
Yeah, yeah.
Roger Reid (32:00.302)
Like you just go and when you dropped off the kids, you dropped off the kids, like you, the doors opened, kids showed up, right? You know, you had something exciting, the kids wanted to be there. There wasn't a lot of things fighting for their time. And that's changed, you know, families are ruled by their Google calendar, you know, like I'll have parents now like, Hey, I just need to know the next six months, Roger.
Rob Chartrand (32:00.348)
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Roger Reid (32:28.238)
okay, I'm already planning blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what, you want my job? Because I'm not thinking, I'm thinking, but I don't have every little detail for the next six months planned out, right? But parents are like that, yay, we got dance, we got soccer, we got hockey. we just signed them up for extracurricular. I'm like, your kids are already doing extracurricular times a hundred. And so that has changed a lot. I also find that, you know, even how people parent,
Rob Chartrand (32:37.724)
Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (32:58.03)
There's just a lot of this. And again, no disrespect, but there's this level of overprotection, over safety from parents. Like I planned a hiking trip and we had a bunch of students going and this parent showed up and said, hey, I want him to go, but could he get hurt? And I'm like, yes. Right? I'm like, he could get hurt in your house. Right? I almost said it out loud. And I'm like, we're hiking into a river up over a hill.
Rob Chartrand (33:06.556)
Yeah, the hovering.
Rob Chartrand (33:21.532)
Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (33:27.534)
He may fall down, right? But he'll be okay. We get in trouble. We know it. We're all first aid trained, blah, blah. And she goes, well, I want to go. I really think I should go. And I'm like, no, no, you're not going. It's a guy's hiking trip. Well, I think you need a mom there. And I'm like, maybe next time. But yeah, she's like, just, yeah. Right? that was just, that was, yeah, right? That was just.
Rob Chartrand (33:32.956)
Yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (33:47.164)
And how old were you at the time with adult children? Like.
Roger Reid (33:53.07)
That was just a little while ago. I mean, I was taking my son, you know, when he was 10 years of age, putting him in a whitewater raft and go, hold on, right? You know, and, but now it's different. So yeah, so a lot of that has changed. And, you know, and I think that's kind of like the biggest change is people are just busy. And I don't think they're saying that this is better than youth ministry. I think what it is in Andrew Root's book, The End of Youth Ministry, he kind of put this together a little bit.
Rob Chartrand (33:59.068)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (34:19.356)
Yeah, so good. So good, yeah.
Roger Reid (34:21.262)
And he was like, you know, everything is good, but in this moment, this is a better good, right? And parents have that lens and it's hard to get through that. Another thing that has changed is kids are more distracted than ever before. You know, so I feel that we need to be really, really prepared when we walk into a space and to bring God's word, you know, and you're constantly.
saying, hey, for the next 20 minutes, I just need you to put your cell phone down. And I talk to a lot of youth leaders, how do I just get them to listen? I'm five minutes in, there's 100 distractions. So you navigate into that. But some of the things that stayed the same, kids want to know Jesus. If I could just simplify it, one thing that stayed the same is kids still see their need for Jesus.
whether they're a super busy kid or the outskirt kid, they recognize this need in their life. And it's so good to see when a kid just leans in and says, hey, I wanna follow Jesus. It's really good.
Rob Chartrand (35:30.684)
Yeah, yeah. Anything remains the same in the things that you do as a youth leader?
Roger Reid (35:38.862)
Yeah, I've always been relational and still am. I have a hit list every week. I connect with five kids every week. It's a rule. Some weeks I nail it, some weeks I fail it, but it's a goal. Connect with five kids every week. So that stays the same. Another principle, learn something new every week. What is something that I just need to learn to do better or do differently?
Rob Chartrand (35:48.668)
Hmm.
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (36:04.188)
Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (36:08.43)
prioritize me, right? You know, which is always the hardest, hardest person to lead is usually yourself, right? So I've read that somewhere. And, but, but yeah, so some of that, and, you know, and another thing that I have not, you know, stayed, I've stayed consistent is tell my wife every day that I love her. You know, that's a rule, right? You know, and my top rule for every day is have fun.
Rob Chartrand (36:17.276)
Yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (36:31.58)
Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (36:38.094)
Have fun, right? Every day. Like honestly, Rob, if I'm going through my day and I'm like, wait, I didn't have fun today. Okay, I need to go have fun. I will disturb everyone else in the office for my enjoyment. I just need to have this moment of fun, right? And yeah, it's important. It's a rule, right? Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (36:39.324)
Good. Yes.
Rob Chartrand (36:52.604)
Yeah. So if you were to go back and talk to yourself back in, you know, that small little church where you're making 200 bucks a week, and you were to give yourself some sage advice from the old guy to the young guy, what would you tell your younger self?
Roger Reid (37:03.854)
Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (37:10.638)
Yeah, again, that's a good question. And I thought about this when you sent it to me and I was like, wow, what would I tell my younger me? I think the first thing I would say is, buddy, you need to find some mentors. You need people you need to look up to. And because in this stage of my life, I'm hungry for feedback, you know? And early me was just having a fun time.
Rob Chartrand (37:25.54)
Hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (37:39.182)
You know, like kids are showing up, let's do something stupid, let's do something goofy. And yeah, we'll talk about Jesus. And honestly, I look back at my younger me and go, you idiot. You could have done so much more. And so to go back and just say, listen, you need some mentors in your life. You need someone that can give you some solid feedback, right? And I think I would have also told my younger self, risk more. Like really, like take some risks more, you know? Quit sooner.
Rob Chartrand (37:51.388)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (38:09.788)
Okay.
Roger Reid (38:09.966)
Right? You know, that would have been one. And the other one I think I would have said is take care of your health and not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. My emotional health has like just taken these hits through the years and I had to figure out how to, you know, at 40 something years of age, I had to figure out how to grieve and I had no clue how to do that, you know.
Rob Chartrand (38:36.604)
Hmm. Hmm.
Roger Reid (38:39.502)
I was always had a tough exterior. And so I would go back to my younger self and saying, not showing emotion is not toughness, it's weakness. And I wish I would have learned how to be more sensitive that way. Yeah, right? And I guess about the things I would tell you my younger self, but I will keep that off air. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (38:55.42)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (39:03.9)
Good job, good plan. So, I mean, when you think back in ministry, when you first started, I mean, you were only five years older than the kids you were serving, right? So you're like the cool, young, hip youth guy, at least you tried to be, right? Versus now, you're like grandpa age, right? You're like in a different, right? And somewhere in the middle, you're like the cool uncle, right? So your role and your relationship to younger people,
Roger Reid (39:17.838)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (39:25.134)
Careful, come on. Thought we were friends. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (39:32.156)
begins to change because you're changing. So how has that worked for you? How has your role been changing over the years? And maybe where do you find yourself today?
Roger Reid (39:33.774)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (39:39.894)
Yeah, so rewind back to my first church. Like I said, I was just a few years apart from these people and I loved them, I cared about them, and I cared about what they thought about me. And so one day we're at this other youth event and the boys were acting up and I just pulled them aside, guys, you gotta stop. This isn't cool. Like, knock it off. And one of them looked at me and said, what are you doing? And I said, what do you mean? I'm trying to correct you. And they're like, yeah, we don't like that. You're just one of us, Roger.
Rob Chartrand (39:54.012)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (40:01.564)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (40:10.108)
Right.
Roger Reid (40:10.382)
And all of a sudden I realized in that moment, I'm not leading them. I'm a buddy, right? You know, I'm not even a friend. I'm just one of the boys. I'm just one of the guys, right? And that stung. And I knew then I couldn't finish leading these Dijon men because, you know, I wasn't leading them, right? So now my lens is different, you know? So I don't allow a student to, you know, call me Raj, right?
Rob Chartrand (40:15.58)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (40:27.932)
Hmm. Right, right.
Roger Reid (40:39.342)
Don't nickname me. I am Roger or Pastor Roger, right? I am your friend. I'm not your buddy, right? You don't text me at 10 o 'clock at night and just chat. Sorry, right? You know, like there's more things in place because at the end of the day, I still need to lead you, right? And so, and that's been a journey for me because I think all youth pastors deep down, we want to be liked.
Rob Chartrand (40:47.644)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (40:59.484)
Right, right.
Hmm.
Roger Reid (41:09.39)
You know, and for whatever you want to feel it, I want to be liked or appreciated for. But at the end of the day, if you can't pull someone aside in love with a certain level of relationship and say, hey, I noticed this about you and I'd like to call it out in your life, you know, as your youth pastor and as a level of friendship we have, I believe you could be better, you know, and for that student to look at you and go, yeah, because you do care.
Rob Chartrand (41:15.996)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (41:26.62)
Hmm. Hmm.
Roger Reid (41:38.094)
and you're just not one of my buddies, you know? And I mean, like I can, like last night I had like 15 Gray 7 boys all sitting around and we're just talking about how does a young man stay pure? They're all turning 13. So we're talking about, hey, what type of teenager do you want to become? And just sitting there and saying, I will journey with you. You know, I can't do the journey with you. You know, I'm not your parent, but I will be a mentor for your life.
but I'm going to ask you to listen. And so it's a whole different perspective. And F52, to be able to still maintain that level of relationship, yeah, I work hard at it. And it's important.
Rob Chartrand (42:06.492)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (42:16.604)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well and respect and trust but it's a different kind, right? It's not just the but yeah, yeah.
Roger Reid (42:20.686)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, right? Yeah. Some kids get upset when they find out I'm older than their dad. They're like, what do you mean? What do you mean you're older than my dad? And I'm like, dude, your dad's 30 something. I'm 52. You're 52, right? And they're like, but you play video games. I went, no, I play video games just when you're around, okay? Right? You know, yeah. Right? Outside of Mario Kart, we're done. Okay? Right? Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (42:41.244)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (42:45.372)
Yeah, right. I also watch the news. That's a defining distinction. I watch the news or, you know, I YouTube the news now.
Roger Reid (42:48.686)
Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty bad. That's right. It's pretty bad. The first thing you get out in the morning, you go and you ask Google what the temperature is outside. Like, you know you've arrived. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (42:59.612)
Exactly. Totally. Yeah, totally. Yeah. If you've put your own barbecue together, you're in a different class. Yeah, that's right. So let's let's talk stories. Got any big youth ministry fail stories you want to share with the with the audience? There's probably some you got that you can't share. Probably a lot you can't share but
Roger Reid (43:07.086)
Yes, and use it.
Mm.
Roger Reid (43:21.646)
Yeah, I really thought about this. Most of my fails are injuries. You know, like turning my back and trusting a student. Like, yeah, just go move my car. And it's like, my gosh, right? Yeah, many nights in the emergency room, I had one kid one time and they were just goofing off and I just, I had her fine.
Rob Chartrand (43:30.844)
Thank you.
Roger Reid (43:52.462)
And next thing I know, this kid's walking up and he's got his finger held in his hand like this. And I'm like, what's going on? And he goes, I need a hospital, I need a hospital. I said, let me see it. And he opens up his hand and he has his pinky peeled back like a banana, just the bone. And I'm like, great, what do we do now? And so we just go to the hospital. And so a lot of those fails, I think some of the other fails have been not being sensitive. And when a parent comes to you,
with a critique and instead of listening to them as a young youth pastor, you just don't understand. You don't have to parent the kid. I understand your kid better than you do. We've been there. Stuff like that. Not asking the kid if his dad said it was okay for us to use the boat. That was a fun one. Yes. I think we found them.
Rob Chartrand (44:29.692)
Hmm. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (44:45.436)
Do you ever lose a kid?
Roger Reid (44:51.182)
Yeah, I lost a couple, not one, a couple of kids hiking and I had no clue where they were. You know, that was fun. Had a bunch of kids take me water skiing. I get hurt and I pass it on the beach and I'm the only supervised leader there. And for two hours, I have no recollection where any of these kids were, right? But we got home. It was the 90s. And that's my only excuse. Yeah. Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (45:16.508)
but that panic. Well, the thing is losing a kid now is different than losing a kid back then because they didn't all have smartphones, but now they have smartphones. It's a lot easier to find them.
Roger Reid (45:22.158)
Yes, it's true. Yeah. But also I think back then, if you lost a kid, you kind of went, go figure it out. You know, like it was a different kid. Like, you're like, okay, well, let's not panic. Like I remember taking hundreds of students to Canada's Wonderland and we have check -in stations, right? And then all of a sudden the kid not check -in and you were like, my gosh, was he taken? And like you didn't have that lens. You just kind of went, well, he's in the line. You know, he just lost track of time. Like you made an excuse for him or her.
Rob Chartrand (45:32.22)
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (45:41.276)
Yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (45:49.308)
Good job. Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (45:52.142)
And then eventually you find them and you're like, you're okay. Yeah, we just forgot. Okay, don't worry about it. You know, now...
Rob Chartrand (45:57.084)
And you had a greater assurance that they had the skills to be able to navigate those difficult situations. Whereas now, because of over -parenting, you're not always sure how much independent skills they actually have.
Roger Reid (46:00.59)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (46:05.422)
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, like I'll send it a permission form now, okay? Like there was a time when I would first start sending permission form, parents were like, we trust you. Like, what do I need to sign this for? If he gets hurt, take him to the hospital, right? Now I'll send a permission form and there's three pages added to it of all these things I need to be aware of, right? And I'm like, he's not coming. I don't have the emotional capacity for this, right? And sometimes I get...
Rob Chartrand (46:18.62)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (46:26.78)
Right.
Yeah. Yes.
Roger Reid (46:35.054)
And I talk like this all the time and people say, well, you're really insensitive. And I'm like, no, I'm not insensitive. I just don't get it sometimes. Because sometimes I just shake my head. But we had to put that lens on because we are taking responsibilities of people's most terrible possessions, that's their kids. And so, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (46:42.78)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (46:57.276)
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Roger Reid (47:00.558)
And parenting has allowed me to have a better lens. Like I'm a better youth pastor today because I raised three kids. So when a parent comes to me and say, hey, my daughter's going through this, or I'm worried about my son, I'm like, yeah, I get it. And the empathy has matured in me. And...
Rob Chartrand (47:06.844)
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Rob Chartrand (47:18.748)
Well, and that's perhaps a big thing that's changed. Like back in the day when we were youth pastoring, we never saw the parents. So you didn't really pastor parents, but now you're passing parents as well and not just their kids.
Roger Reid (47:23.438)
Mm -hmm. No.
No. Yeah, yeah, like I probably get together with just the same amount of parents as I do kids, you know? And now there's this hunger now in the parents that are raising Generation Alpha. They're like, what do I do about this? There seems to be this hunger. We partnered with the RCMP a couple weeks ago. We just did an internet safety course and we figured let's bring the RCMP and then bring the parents and kids together. And it was...
very well attended. And I was like shocked, you know, and parents are sitting there going, we just want to know, we don't have the tools, Roger, right? Technology is spun so far ahead and we're swimming trying to catch up. Can you help us? And this is a great time to be a youth pastor, right? It's a great time.
Rob Chartrand (47:56.124)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (48:09.436)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (48:15.712)
Yeah. There was an article that was just released. And this is going to be old by the time this podcast gets out. But there was just released this last week from the Surgeon General of the United States of America. He wrote a piece in the New York Times and he has been calling for warning labels to be put on social media accounts, just like with cigarettes, just like with bad food and all of that. He says, I know it's probably not going to make a difference, but we need to somehow find a way.
Roger Reid (48:36.366)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (48:42.862)
Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (48:45.436)
to help because it's interesting in the article it cites that if a young person watches or consumes more than three hours of social media a day, that doubles their risk for anxiety and depression. And the average young person consumes 4 .3 hours of social media a day already. So.
Roger Reid (48:55.79)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (49:00.238)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (49:05.326)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (49:08.252)
they're all past the threshold. And so why do we have, you know, and is it correlation causation? I would say it's a strong correlation between the consumption of social media, right? And what it's doing to our minds and what it's, how it's shaping our values. But I think there's a strong correlation that says, yes, it is adversely affecting young people. And so online safety, I mean, that's, it's not just what they're watching, it's how much they're watching or how they're watching. All of that is shaping them, yeah.
Roger Reid (49:15.886)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (49:26.862)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (49:34.446)
Absolutely. That's right. And going back to what you said earlier, you know, what has changed in youth ministry, that's changed, right? But I'm not sure if it's changed. I think we just have words now, right? You know, we have words around mental health. Be like, you know, when I first started youth ministry, we didn't use the word mental health. We didn't use, there are certain things we just didn't say. And today I believe that's, yeah, right? Or you're just, you know, just relax. You'll be fine, you know? But now it's like, wait a second.
Rob Chartrand (49:40.796)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (49:54.748)
Worry, we called it worry.
Roger Reid (50:02.638)
we understand there's a bigger thing happening. And so going back to what I said, this is a great time to be in youth ministry, but it's also a time in youth ministry that we just need to dial up the partnership with parents. I think we've always should have, but now more never.
Rob Chartrand (50:04.924)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (50:11.932)
Mm -hmm.
Rob Chartrand (50:19.772)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think, you know, the Deuteronomy six, the Shema and the responsibility of the discipleship of young people actually primarily.
Roger Reid (50:31.374)
Mmm.
Rob Chartrand (50:35.164)
is with the parents, not with the youth ministry, right? So how do we partner with parents in doing this, in shaping their own young people? And some parents don't have a clue because they themselves have never been discipled. So how do they spiritually form a disciple of their own young people in their home? I mean, that's a huge gap that we're seeing in the church.
Roger Reid (50:37.966)
Right?
Roger Reid (50:43.918)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (50:48.214)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (50:52.014)
Yeah.
yeah. It's like I say to parents all the time, my job is to partner with you, you know, to raise, you know, spiritually healthy and emotional kids. But I said, but you're with them every day. I get them two hours a week if I'm lucky, you know, and that's if they come every week. And we know that's changed. Right. Someone comes to church once a month and they're considered a full time member. You know, I come all the time. Right. And so it's.
Rob Chartrand (51:13.116)
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hmm.
Roger Reid (51:22.734)
Yeah, things definitely has changed. But in the life at all, I think we've changed. And I think that's what gives the longevity of youth ministry so much value. Like, man, if I knew what I knew now when I was 25, I think some kids...
Rob Chartrand (51:29.628)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (51:43.836)
Right, yeah.
Roger Reid (51:49.422)
may have gotten some little better teaching from me than that really cool game. Right? You know, I would have prioritized a few extra things. Right? And this is one of the things that frustrates me about youth ministry today. I look into a lot of youth ministries. I'm like, you're doing the same thing we did in the 90s, bud. You know, it's yeah, the technology is different and kids are a little bit different, but you're doing the same youth ministry we've always done. Like, can we dream here a little bit?
Rob Chartrand (51:54.852)
Yeah, totally. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (52:00.124)
Totally.
Rob Chartrand (52:16.188)
Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (52:19.342)
You know, like, can we figure out another game or something, you know? And yeah, and, you know, and then youth pastors will say to me, well, I don't understand why my youth ministry isn't growing. They said, well, let's talk about what you're doing and not doing, you know? Well, maybe maybe you should look at that. no, no, no. The kids love that. And I'm like, but you have six kids, right? What about the other 30 in your neighborhood that thinks that's lame? You know, OK, I'm being critical. I'm going to stop.
Rob Chartrand (52:23.228)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (52:42.236)
Right, yeah.
Rob Chartrand (52:47.868)
Yeah, yeah. Well, let's get back to let's get back to longevity then. How have you stayed in this game so long, Roger?
Roger Reid (52:48.206)
Right? Yeah.
Roger Reid (52:57.238)
The first thing I wrote down here was just stubbornness, right? Yeah, just stubborn. I just see the end goal. I just see that someone can replace me tomorrow and that's fine. I'm okay with that, right? But as long as I have breath and God has called me to pour into students, that's my job. It's my responsibility.
Rob Chartrand (53:03.996)
Okay, great.
Rob Chartrand (53:23.192)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (53:25.07)
And even when people said, you're not good at it, you're a terrible speaker, you don't have to lead the youth ministry, I went, you don't define me. My calling will define me and I can get better. And some of the firings I went through were tough. And I had people all around me say, just give it up, just go do something else. And I'm like, no, there is no plan B. This matters. So that's one thing. And I also think I prioritized,
You know, I prioritize, you know, my health, right? To the best of my ability. And I've always had a desire to get better and to learn, you know, like, like I said, you know, I've been in the game for almost over 30 years, 11 years here, and I'm constantly going, what can I learn? Like, you know, I don't know everything, right? How do I get better? And I've surrounded myself with people that's constantly is pushing me. I have a 19 year old Gen Z.
assistant who will look at me and go, I don't like it, Roger. And I'm like, okay, great. Let's fix it. Let's do something about it. And he goes, yeah, but you really like it. And I go, that's not the point. It's not about me. And I think the longer I stayed in, the more I just realized we need to get better at it. I need to get better. I need to stay healthy. And honestly, it's just fun.
Rob Chartrand (54:43.644)
Hmm. Yeah.
Roger Reid (54:51.822)
Right? You know, right? Like it's just fun. You get to journey. Yeah. And, you know, but it's when you allow that negative and the tough stuff, you know, and you overthink it, you know, and you allow, you know, and you look to the other side. Just, you just say, no, it's this one call to do. Got to figure it out. If I don't do it, who will? If you leave, who's going to, like, you got to have some grit.
Rob Chartrand (54:55.356)
You love what you're doing.
Roger Reid (55:20.878)
Right? And so, I'll go back to my original word, I'm stubborn. I want to win. And not because of me, is I believe that the gospel still needs to be presented in a real and irrelevant way to teenagers. And I got nothing else to do. Right? You know? So, and I love it. Right? Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (55:20.972)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (55:41.948)
Yeah, good. Good. Well, our time is almost gone. So I wondered if you today could share a final word of encouragement to our listeners across the country. Some of them youth workers, some of them pastors, and some of them key volunteers in local churches. But share us a word of encouragement today.
Roger Reid (55:47.054)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (55:52.302)
Mm -hmm.
Roger Reid (56:02.318)
Yeah, I think what I would say is let's just be real and own the fact that youth ministry is tough. Okay, it's tough. But average is easy. Okay? Like, average is just easy and you got to, if you want to do average youth ministry, fine, do average youth ministry and that's easy. But if you want to do youth ministry well or any ministry well or lead well, it's going to be tough. It's going to take some grit.
Rob Chartrand (56:10.716)
Hmm. Hmm.
Roger Reid (56:31.342)
And you got to start dreaming big. Don't dream here. Dream big where God has to come in and push you over the edge because there's no other way that can happen. Read, learn, grow. Leadership matters. And also know why you're doing it. You got to know your why. If you don't know why you're doing what you're doing, then of course you're going to get discouraged. And focus on being healthy.
Rob Chartrand (56:46.94)
Hmm.
Rob Chartrand (56:55.228)
Yeah.
Roger Reid (56:59.982)
healthy physically, healthy emotionally, healthy spiritually. There's no such thing as balance. Don't believe that myth. There are seasons that are crazy. There are seasons that are not crazy, but what you got to keep strong in youth ministry is why you're balancing everything on and that your emotional health, your physical health, your spiritual health, your social health, you want to throw that one in there, definitely. You know? Yeah, like you constantly have to take care of yourself, right? And if, and you need to build teams, don't be a lone ranger.
Rob Chartrand (57:03.452)
Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (57:18.14)
Yeah, your intellectual health.
Roger Reid (57:30.222)
You've got to build healthy teams around you. Welcome feedback. I can keep going. If you want to stay in the game and you want to be good at it, you've got to surround yourself with people who are good at it and get people permission to get in your face, tell you to smarten up, have permission. And the other thing too, build accountability around yourself. Just don't be stupid.
build that level of accountability. Anyone can walk in my office anytime at all, full access to my technology. I have nothing to hide. And I want it to stay that way. And I have students who use my stuff. I'm like, here's my phone. Go ahead and search through it. And I think we need to have that level of, I have nothing to hide, right? Because when you do think about developing something to hide, you're going to think twice about it. You know?
And I've seen a lot of good youth leaders just make a stupid decision in the moment because they weren't taking care of themselves and now they're done. And let's not do that, right? The gospel needs us. Thank you. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (58:38.14)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good. Good word, my friend. Thanks so much for joining us on Church in the North. We'll have to get you back here again sometime and bless you, man, and all the work that you're doing. I hope you get some rest this summer before you hit that ground running even harder in the fall. I guess youth church just keeps going though, doesn't it?
Roger Reid (58:57.902)
Yeah. UChurch runs. I'm also taking 16 students to El Salvador and Guatemala. First cross -cultural mission trip in four years, and we're going to have two weeks. So yeah, I think I'll probably take vacation in October. That's probably what it's going to look like. But again, if you love what you do, then you don't feel like you're working. And...
Rob Chartrand (59:06.108)
cool.
Rob Chartrand (59:18.62)
Thanksgiving.
Rob Chartrand (59:23.804)
Yeah, yeah. And if you're, and if you're resting regularly every week, I mean, that's important too. Yeah. Yeah.
Roger Reid (59:27.906)
Yeah, take care of yourself. Right? Yeah, it's a priority. Yeah. What does Craig Griselle say? No to snooze. Right? Yeah, but it's really good. And if anyone is interested in reaching out, picking my brain or pushing back, let's go. Right?
Rob Chartrand (59:33.66)
Awesome.
Rob Chartrand (59:37.944)
Yeah, good stuff.
Rob Chartrand (59:49.052)
Yeah, we'll have that in the show notes for sure how they can contact you Roger. Yeah.
Roger Reid (59:53.422)
Yeah, that'd be great. And Rob, I really appreciate it. This has been fun. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Chartrand (59:56.508)
Yeah, totally. Every time we chat. I love it. Bless you, man.